A Little Wisdom from the Old Sarge

• Always keep your pants and your gun where you can find them in the dark
• Keep your powder dry and your whistle wet.
• Get your clothes the right size. Uncomfortable clothes get even more uncomfortable when it’s a hundred degrees in the shade in July in Gettysburg. Fit is extremely important when dealing with pants. Too small and you will be rubbed raw in places that you didn’t even know that you had. Too big and the crotch of the pants will be hanging down around your knees somewhere; which makes it impossible to march in step. And when that happens you’ll have some smooth faced 2nd Lt. with dreams of command on you like a Reb on grits.
• While in column or in battleline, don’t pay any attention to the Tubby Bearded Guy with the birds on his shoulders. You listen to your Captain. It’s his orders that you have to carry out. You start listening to the brigade commands, and while you’re trying to figure out how the hell you’re supposed to do order, you’ve missed what your captain has told you to do. The captain is supposed to understand the brigade commands, and then translate them into orders that you should know how to do. And if the captain messes it up, and you have followed his orders, it’s his fault and not yours. And if he really fouls up and makes the company look bad, you can always frag him in the next battle.
• Make sure your weapon is clean and in good working order. You might be able to bum a few rounds, a drink of water, or maybe a little hardtack from your messmates; but nobody is going to lend you a musket. Especially if you don’t take care of your own.
• Fireproof and mildew proof tents fall into the same category as tame alligators, honest politicians and women that don’t take all your money. Son, there ain’t no such thing. And if you think there is you deserve what you get. There is some canvas that is harder to light and will rot slower than others, but they all will do it. A little common sense will delay the inevitable. Keep the fire a safe distance from the tents. And if you need a lantern, keep an eye on it. A candle is simply a slow fuse. And I can’t say whether smoking will kill you or not, but anyone that’s smokes in a tent full of straw and blackpowder is a pea wit.
• Drink lots of water.
• I don’t recommend washing your uniform. It’s almost impossible to do so and not shrink it a little if not a lot. Besides, washing wool shortens its life and reduces its natural water resistance. Better to let it air dry, and then brush it to remove dirt and mud. If you really can’t stand the smell anymore, your best bet is to get it dry cleaned. It’s cheaper than a new one.
• Salute all officers. It makes their day.
• Don’t dry your brogans to close to the fire because (1) they shrink, making them feel like leather bear traps, (2) they crack, which will let in not only the water but also the mud and an assortment of small critters and (3) the natural oils dry out, which gives them a usable life about as long as it take for a new recruit to get his first blister. Brogans might be the single most expensive part of your uniform. It makes sense to make them last as long as possible. Keep them greased up (but not with neats foot oil ) and if they get wet, let them dry out slowly. I know it’s not comfortable putting your feet in damp boots, but that’s why you should have a couple of pairs of extra socks.
• Get some kind of night cap to wear while sleeping. Most of the heat in your body leaves through the top of your head, so put something on it and you’ll sleep better and stay warmer at night. I know that they look dumb; but when people see us out running around in 90 degree weather wearing all wool uniforms, do you really suppose they think we are all that bright anyway?
• Hydrogen peroxide is a quick clean on a musket when you are out in the field, but make sure that at least after the event you clean it out with hot water and a good solvent. Otherwise the peroxide will start to eat out the inside of the barrel.
• Don’t sleep with your brogans on. It doesn’t give them a chance to dry out and makes the leather rot faster. In any case, they won’t keep you feet any warmer and in fact, usually makes them colder.
• If you are sleeping on a cot, bring extra blankets. Air flowing around and under the cot will make you colder. Sleeping on the ground is warmer if you do it right. Lots of hay or straw with your gum blanket under and your wool blanket over will keep you very warm, esp. if you have your head covered. Notice, I didn’t say sleeping on the ground was more comfortable than sleeping on a cot, just warmer. A mattress tick is a good compromise. A mattress tick is a long bag made from ticking or canvas which you stuff full of straw and then sleep on. Warm and very comfortable; and though it is something extra to carry, it’s much lighter than a cot. They had mattress ticks during the Rev. War, and though I can find no definite proof that they were used during the Civil War, it would only make sense that they were. And they are easier to hide than a cot.
• Drink lots of water.
• Use pre-made cartridges, never load from a powder flask.
• Every gun is always loaded.
• Never aim your weapon at anything or anyone that you don’t intend to kill.
• Know your history. And know when to say "I’m not sure, but you could check with..." It is better to keep your mouth closed and be thought a fool than to open it and remove all doubt.
• Always remember that the fellow out there with the different colored uniform is not you enemy. He may be your opponent, or the other side, or even ‘those people’ but he is never your enemy. Your enemy is ignorance. That’s what you are here to fight. Never forget that.
• You may someday be given the chance to move up in rank. If you decide to take it, do not think for a moment that a promotion will mean less work or easier duty. The opposite is true. There is a reason that a Major looks the way he does.
• And with a promotion, there are four things that you need to know. First, respect is not in the job description. It is mined by the sweat of your brow out of the solid rock of doubt, with common sense as your pick and fairness as your shovel.
• Second, with rank does not come leadership. You must always work at being a good leader. Remember, the men im be following your orders out of morbid curiosity.
• Third, you will never learn enough. The higher you go, the more people will come to you with questions. And no one expects a private to know as much as a captain. The private may know more; but no one expects it.
• And fourth, of these three things; respect, leadership and knowledge; only knowledge is not easily lost.
• Every soldier has the right to bitch. And every officer should remember that public grumbling is harmless. Assassinations are plotted in secret.
• Do not think that when a non-com is in your face, screaming about something that you did or didn’t do, that this means that he hates you. He very well may hate you, but he’s screaming for the pure pleasure that it gives him.
• Take a Hit.
• Always drain your canteen at the end of an event and leave the plug out. This will slow the rusting process. And even though they didn’t have stainless steel canteens during the war, with a cover on them very few can spot the difference. They are well worth the extra cost.
• Alcohol and gunpowder don’t mix. And it makes the alcohol taste terrible.
• Drink lots of water.
• Don’t put soda pop in your canteen. It speeds up the rusting and will do nothing to keep you cool and hydrated during an event. Water works the best, although lemonade is a close second.
• If you are not feeling well, stay in camp. At reenactments they don’t give out posthumous medals.
• Have fun.
• Life is short. Don’t spend it mad at one person. This is esp. true if the one person is you.
• Take big bites. Moderation is for monks.
• In every group, there is always one that is looked down on, at least a little, for something or other. Doesn’t mean this person is any less of a human than the rest. And it doesn’t mean that this person is not a necessary part of the group. So take a look at the group that you are in, and if every body seems to treat every body else about equally, it probably means that you are the one. But take heart; you’re doing a job that has to be done.
• A word about women in camp. After the public has left, a lot of fellows will bring their companion into camp to sit around the fire; and this is fine. But be aware that this is a mostly male hobby. And although most will behave well most of the time, do not expect it. Your lady is in their backyard, not they in hers. And if the two of you decide to slip off into a tent, or into the dark for a little "R and R" do not expect it to be a secret. Just take my word on that one.
• In this hobby you will meet some of the nicest people in the world. And a few that are not.
• I have marched with a lot of different units, and not everyone does everything the same way as everyone else. Do not criticize. To them, you are the one that is screwed up.
• If someone in your group is doing something wrong, tell them about it. If there is a disagreement on what is wrong or right, ask a seargeant.(they know everything) if you see somebody in another group doing something wrong, mind your own business. That’s what their sergeants are for.
• When making jokes, remember that it is the 1st Sgt. that assigns latrine detail. This doesn’t mean that 1st Sgt.’s don’t have a sense of humor, because they do. But it usually involves making grown men cry.
• A company street is enlisted man territory. Sometimes an officer will get lost and end up there. Leave him alone and usually they will go away. Do not molest or tease them. Eventually you will be on the march, which is officer’s territory. And he is the one that decides how long the rests are, and how far between. Kindness is usually repaid with kindness.
• Drink lots of water.
• Remember, that cold-hearted, half-witted, butt-ugly ignoramus of an officer is only following the orders of the cold-hearted, half-witted, butt-ugly ignoramus of an officer that is above him.
• A non-corn’s first duty is to see to the well being of his men.
• The number one cause of injuries at reenactments is edged weapons. {Bayonets, swords, knives, etc.)
• Sutlers are there to make money, not to do you a favor. But, deals can be had sometimes at the end of an event when he is packing up. Better to make a little profit than to have to haul everything home. plus it gives you the whole weekend to compare prices.
• Travel light, esp. at the big events. Parking is seldom close to the campsite.
• Porta-johns always smell bad. And look worse. But on the bright side, there are very few diseases that can actually be caught from a toilet seat.
• Lines at the johns are usually shortest right before sunup, and right after sunset. All other times you take your chances.
• Practice dying. People that get shot almost always fall toward the shot and few die quickly, the exception to both being head shots. And once you die, resist the temptation to get up on your elbows to watch the rest of the battle. If you want to do that, go with the spectators. We are here to be the show, not to watch it.
• Snakes and other small animals will usually stay far away from a campsite that is of any size. Insects are a different matter altogether. Most are more bothersome than harmful. The notable exception to this are ticks. Always check for them several times a day, and do a complete check before going to bed. And I mean everywhere.
• Tip your hat to the ladies.
• Don’t eat too much before going into battle. Better to take something with you to eat along the way than to leave what you ate lying along the way.
• One way to help keep cool is to put a hand full of maple leaves inside of your hat. They did it during the war and by all accounts, it works. I’ve tried it, and it does seem to keep your head cooler, though I’m not sure how. A second benefit to this practice is, just as back then, some times toilet paper is a little hard to come by. I’m sure you get the picture
• And in case I forgot to mention it, drink lots of water.